The Other Side of the Whistle: What Coaching AAU Taught Me — and How USC Gets It Right

Learning the Real Pressures of Youth Basketball

It wasn’t until I became an AAU coach that I really understood the emotional pressures of this game. Coaching 8- and 9-year-olds up through 11- and 12-year-olds, I expected the hardest part to be teaching fundamentals or keeping kids focused. But the truth was different.

The kids? They were pure joy. They loved the game, they loved the bond, and many longed for the kind of emotional connection a coach could bring. The real challenge came from the parents.

Where Pressure Really Comes From

Parents often meant well, but many brought pressure their kids didn’t need. Some believed their child deserved playing time regardless of performance. Others were convinced their son or daughter was the star of the team, even when that wasn’t true. And many parents, I realized, were reliving their own childhoods — trying to rewrite a career that never took off or protecting their kids from the bullying and struggles they once faced.

That’s when I first understood sometimes the greatest emotional weight a child carries doesn’t come from the game, or even from the coach. It comes from the sideline.

A New Perspective from the Stands

When I stopped coaching and sat in the stands to watch my own son play, the lesson hit even harder. I listened to parents yell at referees, criticize coaches, and even talk down on other kids. I used to sit there thinking: this isn’t right.

That perspective changed how I viewed coaching forever. Parents — though they love their kids — can sometimes be the most immature people in the gym. They don’t realize the hurt they cause when they berate refs, second-guess coaches, or embarrass their child in front of friends, teachers, and teammates.

Why This Matters at USC

That experience made me respect what USC Women’s Basketball is building even more. Coaching at the AAU level gave me a small glimpse of how messy the emotional side of the game can be. At USC, Coach Lindsay Gottlieb and her staff deal with that pressure multiplied by ten — Los Angeles media, NIL opportunities, national exposure, and the weight of big-time college basketball.

And yet, they get it right.

At USC, the culture is built on developing the whole player — not just their skills, but their confidence, resilience, and ability to handle pressure in healthy ways. The staff understands that emotions are part of the game, but they create an environment where players are supported, not crushed, by expectations.

The L.A. Advantage — and Responsibility

Playing in Los Angeles comes with opportunities no other market can touch. NIL deals, media coverage, pro connections — they’re all within reach. But with that spotlight comes added pressure. If parents and fans pile on even more, it can weigh players down.

That’s why USC’s model is so important. They prepare their players for the court and for life — teaching them how to thrive in pressure, not just survive it.

Fight On — A Message for Parents, Too

The phrase Fight On isn’t just a rally cry for players. It’s a challenge to the whole Trojan community: to support, not suffocate. To lift up, not tear down. To let coaches coach, refs ref, and kids play.

Because when players know they are supported, when they feel trusted, when they are allowed to grow through the game instead of being dragged down by outside noise — that’s when they flourish.

Closing Thought

Coaching AAU taught me that parents can either be a child’s biggest encourager or their heaviest weight. Watching USC Women’s Basketball today, I see what it looks like when a program chooses encouragement, development, and culture as its foundation.

That’s the Trojan Standard. That’s what it means to Fight On.