Perspective Lately

The older I get, the more I realize that perspective is everything.

I spend a lot of time talking about USC women’s basketball. I love it. I love talking about the games, recruiting, the players, the coaches, what needs to improve and where this program is headed. I love that people care enough to have opinions because that’s part of being a fan.

But sometimes I get on Twitter, read some of the comments and just sit there thinking, are we really talking about this?

People get worked up over some of the smallest things. They want a different look. They don’t like how something was posted. They think somebody should have said more, said less or handled something differently. A picture gets picked apart. One sentence becomes a whole controversy. Somebody hears part of a story, fills in the rest themselves and then speaks like they know exactly what happened.

Most of the time, they don’t.

They don’t know what conversations took place behind the scenes. They don’t know what information was available at the time. They don’t know what somebody may be dealing with privately. They don’t know the whole story, but that doesn’t stop them from jumping in and adding more negative energy to the situation.

Sometimes it feels like people aren’t even trying to understand. They’re just trying to be part of whatever conversation everybody else is having that day. And I just shake my head.

Not because people aren’t allowed to have opinions. Of course they are. I have plenty of them myself. Would I like to see some things change? Sure. We all have opinions. But I’m not going to get bent out of shape over something like that. Life has taught me there are bigger things to carry.

My perspective is probably different right now because my son is serving overseas. Some of the conversations we have must stay between us.

There are young military members overseas who are 18, 19, 20, 21 and 22 years old dealing with things most of us will never fully understand. They’re running to bunkers when alarms go off. They’re being evacuated because bombs are falling nearby. They’re being sent into dangerous areas. They’re going to sleep not knowing what the next day is going to bring.

Sometimes they’re told they may finally be coming home. They start believing maybe it’s almost over. Then something changes. Something is said publicly back here in the United States. Tensions rise again. The next day they’re right back to running for shelters because attacks have started again.

Just imagine what that does to somebody mentally.

Imagine thinking you’re finally coming home and then having that hope taken away overnight. Imagine living on alert every day, never fully relaxing, never knowing when the next siren is coming or when you’re going to have to move again.

The mental fatigue happening among military members overseas is at a level most people do not realize. Those are the stories we don’t hear enough about.

We hear the political arguments. We hear officials talking. We hear people sitting safely at home giving their opinions. But we don’t always hear what it’s doing to the young people who have to live with the consequences of every decision, every threat and every escalation.

We also don’t hear enough about the parents sitting at home trying to stay strong while waiting for the next phone call.

And I know there are people who will say, “Well, this is what they signed up for.”

I’m going to push back on that right now.

I served in the military. I proudly took an oath that I would defend the America that I love. But this war... this back-and-forth BS... is NOT what they signed up for.

And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

When it comes to social media, maybe what bothers me most about what I am seeing on twitter and platforms isn’t the opinions themselves. It’s that we’re so drawn to the petty.

We’ll spend hours dissecting the smallest things. We’ll jump into conversations we know very little about. We’ll criticize people we’ve never met. We’ll create controversy where there doesn’t need to be any.

Meanwhile, there are conversations that deserve just as much attention, if not more. There are young military members carrying burdens most of us will never understand. There are parents carrying those burdens right alongside them. There are people fighting illnesses. There are families simply trying to make it through another day, trying to figure out how they are going to pay their next bill.

I’m not saying we stop caring about sports. I spend a lot of my time talking about sports, so that would be pretty hypocritical. I’m just saying that somewhere along the way, we’ve become so drawn to the petty that we sometimes lose sight of what really matters.

You woke up this morning. You’re breathing. You can leave your home without running to a bunker. You can go to work, spend time with your family, turn on a basketball game and watch your favorite team play.

Do you understand what a blessing that is?

Whether it’s USC women’s basketball, your favorite WNBA team or another college team you follow, you get to watch the players you enjoy watching. You get to talk about lineups, rankings, trades, recruiting, coaching decisions and whether your team can compete for a championship. Then you get to turn the television off and go on with your life.

That’s a privilege.

Sports are supposed to bring us together. They’re supposed to give us something to enjoy. They’re supposed to give us a couple of hours when we can forget about everything else.

Everything doesn’t need to become a controversy. Everything doesn’t deserve outrage. Everything doesn’t have to become another argument on Twitter.

Sometimes you can just enjoy the team. Sometimes you can just appreciate the players. Sometimes you can admit you don’t know the whole story and leave it there.

There are so many good things we could be talking about.

I always tell my son, no matter what he’s going through, find the good. Even if it’s the smallest thing, find the good. Find one thing that made you smile. Find one person who showed you kindness. Find one reason to be thankful that day.

I think we, as a nation, need more of that. We need to find the good.

That doesn’t mean we ignore problems or pretend everything is perfect. It simply means we stop allowing negativity to take up all the space.

Trust me, I’ll always have something to say about USC women’s basketball. But there’s a difference between caring and letting every little thing steal your peace.

Life is already heavy enough.

So enjoy USC when the college season comes back around. Enjoy your WNBA team right now. Enjoy whatever team or players give you a reason to sit down, watch a game and forget about everything else for a couple of hours.

There are people your children’s age running to bunkers. There are young military members and their parents carrying a level of mental exhaustion most of us cannot see.

So, the next time you find yourself getting pulled into the next controversy, ask yourself one simple question:

Am I adding to the noise, or am I helping someone find the good?

Because life has a way of changing what feels important. Fight on!!!